Since third dimension is so much about separation and feeling unloved or not being enough, I think I am one of the beings learning how to consciously ascend that feeling :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Remember Who You Are
I am reading a book called Remembering Who you are.
One of the things this book talks about is how we are all actually ascended, we come back to experience the same reality over and over again and each time we send information back to ourselves from the future, so the experience is different each time. The reason for this is, we are learning how we did conscious ascension, so we can help other beings do the same.
Since third dimension is so much about separation and feeling unloved or not being enough, I think I am one of the beings learning how to consciously ascend that feeling :)
So each time I go through the same experience, I get the same feeling of being rejected, not being good enough, not being loved and loveable. Each time all the ways I reacted in the past come up as options, I can play victim, I can manipulate, I can go into self-pity, I can blame, get angry. But each time, I deal with it with a new perspective. Its never the same.. its never being back to the same place.
It is getting easier and easier to use the tools, to raise my vibration, be totally aware moment to moment about the mind, be very clear about what this is about, differentiate content from structure. So much is getting processed in my dreams also. I am living out and experiencing whole possibilities in my dreams. Terribly exciting times.. :)
Since third dimension is so much about separation and feeling unloved or not being enough, I think I am one of the beings learning how to consciously ascend that feeling :)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Integrating the Polarities
Haven't blogged in a while..
Its just that time again when another round of growth happens. So its a tad challenging. Have had this headache for 3 days now. Recycling my issues of not being loved, not being enough, being alone, feeling of carpet being pulled out from under me, feeling like there is no one to really count on, no one who understands. Just staying with the suffering and letting go of the stories. Just staying with what is, not trying to think "positive", not resisting the turmoil. Acknowledging the illusion, the darkness.
Doing the work, meditating, breathing, listening to activations and music, reading and finding stuff on the web that I find helpful. Going for walks in the middle of the day if I need to. Its all very helpful. I am also having moments for feeling very connected.
Just acknowledging that there is no way around this.. and I just have to go through whatever shows up.
So much Love,
Samanvitha
Its just that time again when another round of growth happens. So its a tad challenging. Have had this headache for 3 days now. Recycling my issues of not being loved, not being enough, being alone, feeling of carpet being pulled out from under me, feeling like there is no one to really count on, no one who understands. Just staying with the suffering and letting go of the stories. Just staying with what is, not trying to think "positive", not resisting the turmoil. Acknowledging the illusion, the darkness.
Doing the work, meditating, breathing, listening to activations and music, reading and finding stuff on the web that I find helpful. Going for walks in the middle of the day if I need to. Its all very helpful. I am also having moments for feeling very connected.
Just acknowledging that there is no way around this.. and I just have to go through whatever shows up.
So much Love,
Samanvitha
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Are we limited to being human?
For the last several days, maybe weeks, I have been feeling like I am floating above the world. I am not getting drawn to engage in a lot of drama, nor am I feeling any great joy. Every feeling has been fleeting, just coming up to dissolve an old circuit or show me parts of myself.
Esateys mentioned that this is a phase of integration. My body is just integrating the new frequencies and stabilizing it.
Then since last evening, there has been a rage that has gripped me. The mind has decided to direct it towards a guy a met in March when I ran the Napa marathon. I just met him for that weekend. Somehow he seems to represent darkness to me. Darkness that pretends to be light, finds its way into your life, and then plunges it into darkness. There is still a small voice of truth that knows that he is God too. God is both light and dark, in fact all that is. Knowing that, and holding that truth is essential during these times.
I woke up many times last night with nightmares. This time it involved a man I met just after the Napa marathon. He was being patronizing and I was again gripped with rage and rebellion. I think the content is unimportant. I am just recognizing that there is a distinct energy of unrest, rebellion flowing through me at this time.
In a large scheme of things, I think this is a rebellion against the limitation of my perceived humanness. I was speaking with a friend yesterday and in some context he said "I am human". I immediately said "But I am not". It seemed the most natural truth in the moment. I have been having this urge to shave off my head. I think its part of this freedom that I wish to embrace. Go beyond the perceptions of human beauty and conditioning.
The time is NOW for those of us who know who we are and why we are here at this time to step up and embrace all that we are! We have lived a human existence to learn how this system operates, but we are not of this plane of existance, we have a purpose to serve here. Call it forth and step beyond your limited humanness!! Call it forth NOW!!
In service to the grandness of Life and Light,
Samanvitha
Esateys mentioned that this is a phase of integration. My body is just integrating the new frequencies and stabilizing it.
Then since last evening, there has been a rage that has gripped me. The mind has decided to direct it towards a guy a met in March when I ran the Napa marathon. I just met him for that weekend. Somehow he seems to represent darkness to me. Darkness that pretends to be light, finds its way into your life, and then plunges it into darkness. There is still a small voice of truth that knows that he is God too. God is both light and dark, in fact all that is. Knowing that, and holding that truth is essential during these times.
I woke up many times last night with nightmares. This time it involved a man I met just after the Napa marathon. He was being patronizing and I was again gripped with rage and rebellion. I think the content is unimportant. I am just recognizing that there is a distinct energy of unrest, rebellion flowing through me at this time.
In a large scheme of things, I think this is a rebellion against the limitation of my perceived humanness. I was speaking with a friend yesterday and in some context he said "I am human". I immediately said "But I am not". It seemed the most natural truth in the moment. I have been having this urge to shave off my head. I think its part of this freedom that I wish to embrace. Go beyond the perceptions of human beauty and conditioning.
The time is NOW for those of us who know who we are and why we are here at this time to step up and embrace all that we are! We have lived a human existence to learn how this system operates, but we are not of this plane of existance, we have a purpose to serve here. Call it forth and step beyond your limited humanness!! Call it forth NOW!!
In service to the grandness of Life and Light,
Samanvitha
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Cooking: The Stories we live
A couple days ago, I called my friend Anu to check if I can come over to see her two new pups. She was out driving with another friend. She told the friend that yes I can go to see the pups and also if I would cook for about 15 people while I was there.
As I heard this, I felt a rage rise up in my gut. As I looked at this rage I saw many stories:
a) Anu thinks I just go over and dont help out
b) She has never appreciated my cooking and now wants to put me in a spot
c) I remembered all the times I had tried a new dish and she had either just looked at it, or tasted it and made a disgusted face.
d) Guilt: What kind of a person am I to get angry at being asked for a favor?
e) I remembered all the times when I had invited over 10 people home and cooked all day long and had been tired and resentful.
f) I remembered my ex-husband not enjoying my cooking
I kept going back to the feeling.
I then remembered my ex-boyfriend really appreciating my cooking and that being one of the reasons why I hung onto him for so long. I used to cook so much for him. I had a wave of gratitude towards him. Now this was an alternate truth. All my stories were pointing to me that I am not a good cook and I was feeling paralyzed at being asked to do something where I was bound to fail.
I then remembered where it all started. My mom had once asked me to help her in the kitchen when my grandma was visiting. She then criticized me for something. I was very angry with that. My mom then broke down and the whole incident was very emotional and filled with rage and guilt for me. My mom never really asked me to help her in the kitchen after that and I never really learned. Only when I had to live on my own I started cooking with the aid of cookbooks or my own creativity.
So I had a story around cooking from a young age and no wonder I had created so much drama around it through out my life. I had began to believe that:
a) I am not a good cook
b) Even if I cook I am not appreciated
c) Cooking leads to emotional pain
This past weekend I met a man who seemed to be a food enthusiast. As he talked about cooking and eating and his mom being a great cook, I think subconsciously my anxiety was getting triggered. I reflected this in Anu asking me to cook for 15 people. I told Anu this whole story too and I am glad to be surrounded by awake friends who I can be vulnerable with.
I think seeing the story itself breaks the grip it had on you.
When I look at this process, I see grace everywhere in it. Earlier I would have simply focused on my resentment at Anu for asking me. Now, thanks to grace:
a) I can observe my thoughts
b) Be present to the feeling
c) Grace pointed out alternate truths, leading to gratitude and higher consciousness
d) Grace pointed out where the story started
e) Grace played the entire story to me showing me how this story has affected my life
I think once you set the intention to awaken, you are always shown the way.
Ever in gratitude,
Samanvitha
a) Anu thinks I just go over and dont help out
b) She has never appreciated my cooking and now wants to put me in a spot
c) I remembered all the times I had tried a new dish and she had either just looked at it, or tasted it and made a disgusted face.
d) Guilt: What kind of a person am I to get angry at being asked for a favor?
e) I remembered all the times when I had invited over 10 people home and cooked all day long and had been tired and resentful.
f) I remembered my ex-husband not enjoying my cooking
I kept going back to the feeling.
I then remembered my ex-boyfriend really appreciating my cooking and that being one of the reasons why I hung onto him for so long. I used to cook so much for him. I had a wave of gratitude towards him. Now this was an alternate truth. All my stories were pointing to me that I am not a good cook and I was feeling paralyzed at being asked to do something where I was bound to fail.
I then remembered where it all started. My mom had once asked me to help her in the kitchen when my grandma was visiting. She then criticized me for something. I was very angry with that. My mom then broke down and the whole incident was very emotional and filled with rage and guilt for me. My mom never really asked me to help her in the kitchen after that and I never really learned. Only when I had to live on my own I started cooking with the aid of cookbooks or my own creativity.
So I had a story around cooking from a young age and no wonder I had created so much drama around it through out my life. I had began to believe that:
a) I am not a good cook
b) Even if I cook I am not appreciated
c) Cooking leads to emotional pain
This past weekend I met a man who seemed to be a food enthusiast. As he talked about cooking and eating and his mom being a great cook, I think subconsciously my anxiety was getting triggered. I reflected this in Anu asking me to cook for 15 people. I told Anu this whole story too and I am glad to be surrounded by awake friends who I can be vulnerable with.
I think seeing the story itself breaks the grip it had on you.
When I look at this process, I see grace everywhere in it. Earlier I would have simply focused on my resentment at Anu for asking me. Now, thanks to grace:
a) I can observe my thoughts
b) Be present to the feeling
c) Grace pointed out alternate truths, leading to gratitude and higher consciousness
d) Grace pointed out where the story started
e) Grace played the entire story to me showing me how this story has affected my life
I think once you set the intention to awaken, you are always shown the way.
Ever in gratitude,
Samanvitha
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Always guided for the highest good
While reading Bringers of the Dawn, I resonated to the statement "I am always guided for my highest growth, highest evolution, and highest consciousness".
I went to LA this weekend to meet a man I had never met, but had grown to appreciate. I asked Anu and Rajeev to give me a Deeksha (Oneness Blessing) on Friday night and held the intention that I be guided for my highest growth, evolution and consciousness.
On Saturday morning Rajeev dropped me off at the airport an hour before my flight. I initially went up to the ticketing and check-in and found that the line for bag check-in was incredibly long - at least 60 people. I noticed my anxiety. I then came down again and decided to do curb-side check-in. This line was shorter - 20 people. I stood for 10 mins in this line and the line shortened to 19 people! I observed my anxiety increase some.I heard the guy behind me get really anxious and his wife try to calm him down. I realized I was reflecting my anxiety. I became present and observed my breath, my environment and my feelings. I repeated that I am always guided. I now had about 35 mins left for departure and the line still had about 17 people. They were actually processing one person every 10 mins! At this point the Deeksha worked - my intention that I be always guided went from intellectual to experience. At this point I surrendered.
I felt a wave of detachment from outcome wash over me. I suddenly did not care if I go, don't go, go on the next flight, etc. After all, I know I am guided for my highest good, so whatever the outcome, that is for my highest good. So in this state, the next logical thought hit me. I said I can throw away my toiletries and can always buy them in LA. This way I can carry-on my bag. I took out my toilet case and examined it. I would have to throw away a lot. I surrendered to that too. The next moment I held my toilet case in hand, suitcase in another and walked up back upstairs to Ticketing and check-in. The line was still HUGE.
There was an official walking by. I told him I have my flight in 30 mins and I need to check-in my bag. I asked if I can go to the head of the line. He looked at me and pointed me to the check-in counter where there were only 5 people!! Apparently the LONG line was for people like me, who already had printed a boarding pass and only needed to check-in their bags. The short line was for people who did not have their boarding pass!! I walked up to the first guy in this short line and explained my situation and he let me go next. So I checked my bag in and interestingly the security line was really short too. I got to LA with no other issues.
The Game of Life and the World being a reflection dawned on me again from this experience. The curb-side line not moving, the Express bag check being so long was a reflection of my anxiety. Another line so short that no one had noticed, me being allowed to go first, a short security line showed up as possibilities as soon as my inner state changed.
The process:
a) Observe your inner state
b) Become present to the herenow
c) At this point you are feeling your inner state and also observing yourself
d) The perfection of the herenow then shows up and at the same time a detachment from a future outcome. (The moment you observe and become present, awareness follows - This is grace)
e) At this point you surrender, you give up all control. You know you are ALWAYS GUIDED FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD. At this point Your will aligns with the Divine(Higher Self) will.
f) The actions if any will come naturally in this state.
This set the stage for my entire weekend. I had the most wonderful time. It was incredibly easy to be present, to feel at peace within myself and simply experience the other person with no judgments or expectations. All I reflected was my inner state - one of acceptance, peace, presence, safety and joy. There were no "shoulds". There was not "trying". There was an inner knowing that what is - is perfect, since I am always guided for my highest good, highest evolution, and highest consciousness.
So Be It. Always with love,
Samanvitha.
On Saturday morning Rajeev dropped me off at the airport an hour before my flight. I initially went up to the ticketing and check-in and found that the line for bag check-in was incredibly long - at least 60 people. I noticed my anxiety. I then came down again and decided to do curb-side check-in. This line was shorter - 20 people. I stood for 10 mins in this line and the line shortened to 19 people! I observed my anxiety increase some.I heard the guy behind me get really anxious and his wife try to calm him down. I realized I was reflecting my anxiety. I became present and observed my breath, my environment and my feelings. I repeated that I am always guided. I now had about 35 mins left for departure and the line still had about 17 people. They were actually processing one person every 10 mins! At this point the Deeksha worked - my intention that I be always guided went from intellectual to experience. At this point I surrendered.
I felt a wave of detachment from outcome wash over me. I suddenly did not care if I go, don't go, go on the next flight, etc. After all, I know I am guided for my highest good, so whatever the outcome, that is for my highest good. So in this state, the next logical thought hit me. I said I can throw away my toiletries and can always buy them in LA. This way I can carry-on my bag. I took out my toilet case and examined it. I would have to throw away a lot. I surrendered to that too. The next moment I held my toilet case in hand, suitcase in another and walked up back upstairs to Ticketing and check-in. The line was still HUGE.
The Game of Life and the World being a reflection dawned on me again from this experience. The curb-side line not moving, the Express bag check being so long was a reflection of my anxiety. Another line so short that no one had noticed, me being allowed to go first, a short security line showed up as possibilities as soon as my inner state changed.
The process:
a) Observe your inner state
b) Become present to the herenow
c) At this point you are feeling your inner state and also observing yourself
d) The perfection of the herenow then shows up and at the same time a detachment from a future outcome. (The moment you observe and become present, awareness follows - This is grace)
e) At this point you surrender, you give up all control. You know you are ALWAYS GUIDED FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD. At this point Your will aligns with the Divine(Higher Self) will.
f) The actions if any will come naturally in this state.
This set the stage for my entire weekend. I had the most wonderful time. It was incredibly easy to be present, to feel at peace within myself and simply experience the other person with no judgments or expectations. All I reflected was my inner state - one of acceptance, peace, presence, safety and joy. There were no "shoulds". There was not "trying". There was an inner knowing that what is - is perfect, since I am always guided for my highest good, highest evolution, and highest consciousness.
So Be It. Always with love,
Samanvitha.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Live the Light
From Marianne Williamson's 1992 book "Return to Love". Made famous by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural speech.
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission
to do the same.As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give other people permission
to do the same.As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
Bringers of the Dawn - Barbara Marciniak
I started reading Bringers of the Dawn a few months ago and although I felt a deep resonance in my feeling center, my mind quickly judged it and I had to put the book away. Especially the first few chapters tells a story that the logical mind can easily reject. Then I read Esateys's blog entry: Calling On YOU and Your TRUE Purpose and again there is a strong perceivable excitement and lightness. I feel tremendously drawn to this work. I commented on her blog entry:
"Thank you E!! From December 2006 things have been opening for me rapidly and when I came to the first retreat with you in August 2007 and asked to go home, it was the first time I was so clear about my purpose and you saw it then even more than I did. When you told me at the December 2007 retreat that we have some work to do together, every cell in my body was alive. they knew it was time. Last week has been a gift, the awareness was heightened. I observed the games of the ego in me and around me, but there was a strange detachment. A part of me wanted to feel the old pain and participate in the drama, but for the first time it was harder to play the old game than to not. It was harder to acknowledge the ego in others than to not. I could experience what they mean when they say be in the world but not of it. I could just be present, but not participate in the old stories. I am still not clear what my role is, but I am ready and open to receive."
So I again picked up Bringers of the Dawn and started reading it from some mid point and I feel deeply touched. I just wanted to use this blog entry to capture some of the content.
From this moment forward I do not base any of my future experiences on my past. I intend to experience each day as if I were a new born with no conditioning.
My thoughts creates my experience and my thoughts create my reality. All the time.
I want to accelerate my personal evolution. I want Spirit to assist me in a greater capacity. I want my body to regenerate itself. I want to emanate health. I am willing to give up difficulty so that I can be a living example of what humanity can be.
There is an impeccable purpose to everything I do. I am always given an opportunity for my highest growth. I am not afraid of what I create. I trust what I create. I create everything in my world. All the time. There is always something in it for me.
Eliminate the words "should" and "trying". I create, I do, I manifest, I intend.
I am effortlessly intending this to come about.
Always speak your truth. Eg: I do not believe in catching cold. I dont use my body for sickness. Know 100% of the time that you create your reality. You have a choice.
Spirit, I am wishing to be employed by you. Put me to work and show me what I can do. Give me the opportunity to live my light, to speak my truth, and to carry this light around the globe.
To my guides and all those who are assisting my evolutionary journey on Earth: It is my intention that I be successful. It is my intention that I be safe in all things I do. It is my intention that I receive love and give love in all things that I do. It is my intention that I have a good time and that I be provided for with prosperity according to my needs. It is my intention that I not become overly enamored of the material world.
I am in divine guidance. I am always at the right place, at the right time. Everything I do is orchestrated for the higher growth, my higher consciousness and my higher evolution.
If you wish to have acceleration, dive into something that brings up feeling. Stop skirting the issue so that you can think that you are in control. Dive in the middle of it and then see if you are in control.
If you do not give yourself permission to feel, you cannot learn.
I know what is going on. I know there is something here for me to learn, and something here for me to change. I believe that i am guided and that I am following a blueprint. So I will check it out by not judging it and going with the flow. I request that all my changes come in joy, safety and harmony. That is my decree. Everything in my evolution that I am intending is covered by that: I experience joy, safety and harmony. So I will go with this energy and see what is changing for me and what I need to give up.
Honor your friends as they go through their "stuff"; just dont get involved in it. Dont tell your stories more than 3 times. By talking you are not seeing, instead just seeking attention.
Am I operating with my highest integrity? Am I operating with love? Is love my intention foe Earth, the animals, all the people I encounter, and all the things I do?
"Thank you E!! From December 2006 things have been opening for me rapidly and when I came to the first retreat with you in August 2007 and asked to go home, it was the first time I was so clear about my purpose and you saw it then even more than I did. When you told me at the December 2007 retreat that we have some work to do together, every cell in my body was alive. they knew it was time. Last week has been a gift, the awareness was heightened. I observed the games of the ego in me and around me, but there was a strange detachment. A part of me wanted to feel the old pain and participate in the drama, but for the first time it was harder to play the old game than to not. It was harder to acknowledge the ego in others than to not. I could experience what they mean when they say be in the world but not of it. I could just be present, but not participate in the old stories. I am still not clear what my role is, but I am ready and open to receive."
So I again picked up Bringers of the Dawn and started reading it from some mid point and I feel deeply touched. I just wanted to use this blog entry to capture some of the content.
From this moment forward I do not base any of my future experiences on my past. I intend to experience each day as if I were a new born with no conditioning.
My thoughts creates my experience and my thoughts create my reality. All the time.
I want to accelerate my personal evolution. I want Spirit to assist me in a greater capacity. I want my body to regenerate itself. I want to emanate health. I am willing to give up difficulty so that I can be a living example of what humanity can be.
There is an impeccable purpose to everything I do. I am always given an opportunity for my highest growth. I am not afraid of what I create. I trust what I create. I create everything in my world. All the time. There is always something in it for me.
Eliminate the words "should" and "trying". I create, I do, I manifest, I intend.
I am effortlessly intending this to come about.
Always speak your truth. Eg: I do not believe in catching cold. I dont use my body for sickness. Know 100% of the time that you create your reality. You have a choice.
Spirit, I am wishing to be employed by you. Put me to work and show me what I can do. Give me the opportunity to live my light, to speak my truth, and to carry this light around the globe.
To my guides and all those who are assisting my evolutionary journey on Earth: It is my intention that I be successful. It is my intention that I be safe in all things I do. It is my intention that I receive love and give love in all things that I do. It is my intention that I have a good time and that I be provided for with prosperity according to my needs. It is my intention that I not become overly enamored of the material world.
I am in divine guidance. I am always at the right place, at the right time. Everything I do is orchestrated for the higher growth, my higher consciousness and my higher evolution.
If you wish to have acceleration, dive into something that brings up feeling. Stop skirting the issue so that you can think that you are in control. Dive in the middle of it and then see if you are in control.
If you do not give yourself permission to feel, you cannot learn.
I know what is going on. I know there is something here for me to learn, and something here for me to change. I believe that i am guided and that I am following a blueprint. So I will check it out by not judging it and going with the flow. I request that all my changes come in joy, safety and harmony. That is my decree. Everything in my evolution that I am intending is covered by that: I experience joy, safety and harmony. So I will go with this energy and see what is changing for me and what I need to give up.
Honor your friends as they go through their "stuff"; just dont get involved in it. Dont tell your stories more than 3 times. By talking you are not seeing, instead just seeking attention.
Am I operating with my highest integrity? Am I operating with love? Is love my intention foe Earth, the animals, all the people I encounter, and all the things I do?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Sex, Love and Oneness
I was having a conversation today with a man I feel more and more connected to. The conversation was about love and its manifestation as a physical connection or what we call sex, the emotional/heart connection what we call love, and the spiritual/soul connection which is compassion or Oneness. In an intimate relationship does the connection deepen starting with sex, moving to love and then if you are blessed to Oneness? And when you are in love or in oneness what is the role of sex?
I think life is a flow, as you reach higher planes of consciousness or connection, you still do have access to the lower planes and you can come down to play on those levels if you choose to. When you are experiencing Oneness, perhaps there is no role for sex, as you are One and there is no Other to experience. In otherwords you experience them so completely that the physical experience is but one small aspect of it. You can always choose to step into a lower level of consciousness to play the game of sex to experience another aspect of connectedness, but it would have a very different feel and essence to it is my guess.
When you are in Love or have a deep emotional heart connection, you are still conscious of being separate from the other. In this plane sex or passion has a more meaningful place. We all have a light side and a dark side. We need to express and experience both sides to feel alive and fullfilled in this existance. For a man the light sides might be providing, building, serving. For a woman it might be nurturing, caring, accepting etc. The dark sides for a man might be being powerful and agressive and for a woman being seductive and playful. (Note: When I say man and woman, I am primarily talking about masculine and faminine energies. We all have both these energies and sometimes due to conditioning a woman might behave more like a man and vice versa. Although I think we come alive in a different level when we get closer to our true nature) The dark sides need not be destructive, it is also the creative energy. While the light sides are the sustaining energy. When a couple feels safe to express and experience both their dark and light sides in a relationship it can really thrive and be very fulfilling and make room for a soul connection.
I think sexuality can provide the playing field for the dark energies of a couple. While love or the heart connection offers the playing field for the light energies. Now sexuality is broader than sex. Sexuality is actually mostly in the mind. It could just be flirting, a glance, a touch, but its what creates the aliveness. Pure sex without the sexuality in not sustainable in my opinion. A flow of the masculine and faminine dark energies can be more satisfying for a couple than a momentary flow the sexual fluids, while that too has its place in the flow of life.
XOXO ;)
Samanvitha
I think life is a flow, as you reach higher planes of consciousness or connection, you still do have access to the lower planes and you can come down to play on those levels if you choose to. When you are experiencing Oneness, perhaps there is no role for sex, as you are One and there is no Other to experience. In otherwords you experience them so completely that the physical experience is but one small aspect of it. You can always choose to step into a lower level of consciousness to play the game of sex to experience another aspect of connectedness, but it would have a very different feel and essence to it is my guess.
When you are in Love or have a deep emotional heart connection, you are still conscious of being separate from the other. In this plane sex or passion has a more meaningful place. We all have a light side and a dark side. We need to express and experience both sides to feel alive and fullfilled in this existance. For a man the light sides might be providing, building, serving. For a woman it might be nurturing, caring, accepting etc. The dark sides for a man might be being powerful and agressive and for a woman being seductive and playful. (Note: When I say man and woman, I am primarily talking about masculine and faminine energies. We all have both these energies and sometimes due to conditioning a woman might behave more like a man and vice versa. Although I think we come alive in a different level when we get closer to our true nature) The dark sides need not be destructive, it is also the creative energy. While the light sides are the sustaining energy. When a couple feels safe to express and experience both their dark and light sides in a relationship it can really thrive and be very fulfilling and make room for a soul connection.
I think sexuality can provide the playing field for the dark energies of a couple. While love or the heart connection offers the playing field for the light energies. Now sexuality is broader than sex. Sexuality is actually mostly in the mind. It could just be flirting, a glance, a touch, but its what creates the aliveness. Pure sex without the sexuality in not sustainable in my opinion. A flow of the masculine and faminine dark energies can be more satisfying for a couple than a momentary flow the sexual fluids, while that too has its place in the flow of life.
XOXO ;)
Samanvitha
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Pull of the Polarity
I feel the internal struggles intensifying. I have been listening to recording of Oprah 's class on Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth - Awakening to your Life's Purpose. I had read the book in March 2007 and it was the first time I began to get a clear perception of my Ego. Well its over a year now and while my awareness deepens, I am still very much caught up in the drama. I am not as identified with my thoughts and ego as I was, but sometimes I feel I cannot take the illusion of separation any longer. At the Oneness University, they talked about three types of suffering: Physical, Psychological and Existential (Spiritual). I seem to be stuck heavily in existential suffering and almost create psychological suffering, just because it is less intense, it is recycled, and i know how to deal with it.
When I went to my first retreat with Esateys in August 2007, she talked in depth about the Law of Polarity. It is another universal law, like the Law of Attraction. Basically the Law of Polarity states that anything you resist, persists. Another way they put it at the Oneness University is that "God is where all contradictions co-exist". This is also the reason why manifestation does not always work. Because when you focus on getting something, you tend to automatically resist not getting it. So basically all you can do is accept what is and resist nothing. This comes back again to what Eckhart is talking about, which is, be present to what is in the NOW. Because what is, is already so, there is no point resisting it.
I am finding this extremely challenging and frustrating. Because in accepting what is, I am resisting my Ego and it grows stronger with a vengeance. The Pull of the Polarity is very very strong. The only way out is Grace. I need grace to take my consciousness to another plane, where the laws are different. I have done everything to escape this suffering, create drama in my relationships, manufacture financial trouble, eat ice cream to put on weight.. basically drown myself in psychological suffering.. but the emptiness, the meaninglessness grows stronger. Even the regular dramas and traumas is not drowning this deep yearning for unification. They call it the Dark Night of the Soul and I seem to be stuck in it. They say each time you come out of the Dark Night, you reach a place of greater connectedness. But this is plagued by the Law of Polarity too. Each time I reach a place of greater connection, it is followed by a place of feeling disconnected and the suffering intensifies, because I feel trapped. I have all the answers and yet I seem to have none. I am as lost as ever.
I know there are many who are out there who are feeling this. Perhaps its time to unite together stronger than ever to create a permanent shift in consciousness.
When I went to my first retreat with Esateys in August 2007, she talked in depth about the Law of Polarity. It is another universal law, like the Law of Attraction. Basically the Law of Polarity states that anything you resist, persists. Another way they put it at the Oneness University is that "God is where all contradictions co-exist". This is also the reason why manifestation does not always work. Because when you focus on getting something, you tend to automatically resist not getting it. So basically all you can do is accept what is and resist nothing. This comes back again to what Eckhart is talking about, which is, be present to what is in the NOW. Because what is, is already so, there is no point resisting it.
I am finding this extremely challenging and frustrating. Because in accepting what is, I am resisting my Ego and it grows stronger with a vengeance. The Pull of the Polarity is very very strong. The only way out is Grace. I need grace to take my consciousness to another plane, where the laws are different. I have done everything to escape this suffering, create drama in my relationships, manufacture financial trouble, eat ice cream to put on weight.. basically drown myself in psychological suffering.. but the emptiness, the meaninglessness grows stronger. Even the regular dramas and traumas is not drowning this deep yearning for unification. They call it the Dark Night of the Soul and I seem to be stuck in it. They say each time you come out of the Dark Night, you reach a place of greater connectedness. But this is plagued by the Law of Polarity too. Each time I reach a place of greater connection, it is followed by a place of feeling disconnected and the suffering intensifies, because I feel trapped. I have all the answers and yet I seem to have none. I am as lost as ever.
I know there are many who are out there who are feeling this. Perhaps its time to unite together stronger than ever to create a permanent shift in consciousness.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Karma
In Indian philosophy we have this concept of Karma. When people are hit by hardship they believe they are paying for their bad karmas from the past. They consciously try to do good, in order to collect good karma for the future. When they do something bad, they try to offer some prayers etc, to nullify the bad karma from that deed. The cycle of rebirth continues because of the karma carried forward from the past lives.
The reason this came up is that I dated an Osho follower for little over a week many months ago. Today suddenly he suggested that I should be pondering over my Karma since it will catch up with me. He appears to be still hurt by our breakup. Just a few weeks before that I dated a Tony Robbins follower for a weekend. He said he is afraid of Karma. This person turned around and started hitting on a very close friend of mine by the end of the weekend :)
Like everything else in life, if you believe the cycle of karma exists, then it does. Your thoughts and beliefs manifest. Now that is a Law. If you believe life is in the here now - always in the present, then that is so.
Osho says "in my vision of life, yes, every action is bound to have some consequences, but they will not be somewhere else, you will have them here and now. Most probably you will get them almost simultaneously. When you are kind to someone, don't you feel a certain joy? A certain peace? A certain meaningfulness? Don't you feel that you are contented with what you have done? There is a kind of deep satisfaction. Have you ever felt that contentment when you are angry, when you are boiling with anger, when you hurt somebody, when you are mad with rage? Have you ever felt a peace, a silence descending in you? No, it is impossible. You will certainly feel something, but it will be a sadness that you again acted like a fool, that again you have done the same stupid thing that you decided again and again not to do. You will feel a tremendous unworthiness in yourself. You will feel that you are not a man but a machine, because you don't respond, you react. A man may have done something, and you reacted. That man had the key in his hands, and you just danced according to his desire; he had power over you. When somebody abuses you and you start fighting, what does it mean? It means that you don't have any capacity not to react."
Life is always in the herenow. If you experience a joyful moment, the moments you create from that joyful moment can also be joyful. If you are stuck in a place of unpleasantness, you need the awareness of how you got yourself there through your own thoughts, beliefs and actions. For this awareness you need Grace. You need to surrender and ask to be shown. These insights and awareness does not come from the mind. It comes from the soul, from your higher dimensions. Before we ever hope to get the awareness, we need to experience the feeling fully. The feeling could be pain, anger, jealousy, despair, remorse.
At the Oneness University, we were told that at the end of each day to take 10 - 15 mins to go over the day and give thanks to all the beautiful moments, the lessons, the coincidences which are a direct manifestation of Grace in our life. Then to go over all the unpleasantness and feel any unfelt feelings, request the Divine to heal the hearts we have hurt. I think what it comes down to is awareness.
Karma is a choice. You can choose to live the past - future reality or you can choose to experience everything in the herenow and break this cycle of Karma.
From the heart,
Samanvitha
The reason this came up is that I dated an Osho follower for little over a week many months ago. Today suddenly he suggested that I should be pondering over my Karma since it will catch up with me. He appears to be still hurt by our breakup. Just a few weeks before that I dated a Tony Robbins follower for a weekend. He said he is afraid of Karma. This person turned around and started hitting on a very close friend of mine by the end of the weekend :)
Like everything else in life, if you believe the cycle of karma exists, then it does. Your thoughts and beliefs manifest. Now that is a Law. If you believe life is in the here now - always in the present, then that is so.
Osho says "in my vision of life, yes, every action is bound to have some consequences, but they will not be somewhere else, you will have them here and now. Most probably you will get them almost simultaneously. When you are kind to someone, don't you feel a certain joy? A certain peace? A certain meaningfulness? Don't you feel that you are contented with what you have done? There is a kind of deep satisfaction. Have you ever felt that contentment when you are angry, when you are boiling with anger, when you hurt somebody, when you are mad with rage? Have you ever felt a peace, a silence descending in you? No, it is impossible. You will certainly feel something, but it will be a sadness that you again acted like a fool, that again you have done the same stupid thing that you decided again and again not to do. You will feel a tremendous unworthiness in yourself. You will feel that you are not a man but a machine, because you don't respond, you react. A man may have done something, and you reacted. That man had the key in his hands, and you just danced according to his desire; he had power over you. When somebody abuses you and you start fighting, what does it mean? It means that you don't have any capacity not to react."
Life is always in the herenow. If you experience a joyful moment, the moments you create from that joyful moment can also be joyful. If you are stuck in a place of unpleasantness, you need the awareness of how you got yourself there through your own thoughts, beliefs and actions. For this awareness you need Grace. You need to surrender and ask to be shown. These insights and awareness does not come from the mind. It comes from the soul, from your higher dimensions. Before we ever hope to get the awareness, we need to experience the feeling fully. The feeling could be pain, anger, jealousy, despair, remorse.
At the Oneness University, we were told that at the end of each day to take 10 - 15 mins to go over the day and give thanks to all the beautiful moments, the lessons, the coincidences which are a direct manifestation of Grace in our life. Then to go over all the unpleasantness and feel any unfelt feelings, request the Divine to heal the hearts we have hurt. I think what it comes down to is awareness.
Karma is a choice. You can choose to live the past - future reality or you can choose to experience everything in the herenow and break this cycle of Karma.
From the heart,
Samanvitha
Friday, June 6, 2008
Am I good enough? Am I loved?
I first recognized this at Unleash the Power Within seminar I attended by Tony Robbins. These are core fears all human beings have. I am not enough and I wont be loved. This forms the basis for separation. They explained this scientifically at the Oneness University. When a child is born the Mother secretes a hormone called Ocitocin which makes her love the baby no matter what. When this hormone starts the wear off, the child realized that secure love is not there anymore. The child recognizes that it is not enough to be himself or herself to be loved. The core fears of I am not enough and I wont be loved for just being me are thus born.
This awareness in 2006 itself has helped me a great deal in loving myself, being more gentle with myself and others. The realization that this is in everyone, and manifests in different ways like being funny, acting like a victim, getting angry, working too hard, achieving things, all ways of showing ourselves and others that look you can love me now because I am enough (strong enough, weak enough, funny enough, successful enough). Its all the ways the child used to get love from the parents once the ocitocin wore off.
But the core fear is ever waiting to resurface. We often get lost in the layers and dont recognize it as this core fear. When I was at the Oneness University, one of my friends made a comment to me that the guide said he liked her more than he liked me. This was an obviously childish joke to tease me. I recognized that I felt a pain in my heart as I heard this. Immediately I noticed my mind racing to come up with a smart retort, to blame her, to get angry at her, to dislike the guide, to feel sorry for myself, to raise above the occasion and make her look silly. I kept going back to the pain in my heart. Soon I was crying. I kept observing my mind's struggles, but I kept going back to that feeling in the chest. I just lay down and asked the divine to allow me to feel this feeling fully. I felt the energy coursing through my body in waves after waves. After about an hour, I reached my core pain emerging from the core belief that I am not good enough. I felt a tremendous relief and release, because it was clear that my suffering and pain had nothing to do with what my friend had said. Its a common human suffering that was flowing through me.
There was only joy because I was not separate. I was One with all of humanity. I was experiencing what each one of us experiences from time to time. It was no longer personal suffering. When I am one with the whole, how can I not be loved? How can I not be enough? Who can love whom? There is only love. The lover, the loved and love all One.
However, in my case this realization does not yet seem to persist. I come back to it again and again.
So much love,
Samanvitha
This awareness in 2006 itself has helped me a great deal in loving myself, being more gentle with myself and others. The realization that this is in everyone, and manifests in different ways like being funny, acting like a victim, getting angry, working too hard, achieving things, all ways of showing ourselves and others that look you can love me now because I am enough (strong enough, weak enough, funny enough, successful enough). Its all the ways the child used to get love from the parents once the ocitocin wore off.
But the core fear is ever waiting to resurface. We often get lost in the layers and dont recognize it as this core fear. When I was at the Oneness University, one of my friends made a comment to me that the guide said he liked her more than he liked me. This was an obviously childish joke to tease me. I recognized that I felt a pain in my heart as I heard this. Immediately I noticed my mind racing to come up with a smart retort, to blame her, to get angry at her, to dislike the guide, to feel sorry for myself, to raise above the occasion and make her look silly. I kept going back to the pain in my heart. Soon I was crying. I kept observing my mind's struggles, but I kept going back to that feeling in the chest. I just lay down and asked the divine to allow me to feel this feeling fully. I felt the energy coursing through my body in waves after waves. After about an hour, I reached my core pain emerging from the core belief that I am not good enough. I felt a tremendous relief and release, because it was clear that my suffering and pain had nothing to do with what my friend had said. Its a common human suffering that was flowing through me.
There was only joy because I was not separate. I was One with all of humanity. I was experiencing what each one of us experiences from time to time. It was no longer personal suffering. When I am one with the whole, how can I not be loved? How can I not be enough? Who can love whom? There is only love. The lover, the loved and love all One.
However, in my case this realization does not yet seem to persist. I come back to it again and again.
So much love,
Samanvitha
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Relationship patterns
Wow! What a day. So much learning. Its left me feeling very grateful on one hand, but quite sad on another. Ever since I have declared that spiritual growth and relationships are a priority, these events keep manifesting that make me see things about myself - my conditioning. Its really hard to see it and even harder to break it.
This friend of mine and I have had a turbulent relationship. We have been there for each other through some tough times, so the friendship endures, but almost everytime we meet there is some unpleasantness. Today when we met again in no time we were both getting hurt and upset. I suddenly remembered one of the teachings from the Oneness University which is "Suffering is not in the fact, but in the perception of the fact". It became very clear to me that I tend to make him feel guilty very easily and he tends to put me down all the time. It occurred to me that guilt is a theme in his life (he is not able to do more, be more, give more etc) and not being good enough is a theme in mine (I can do more, be more, give more). Actually we are both quite similar, but we reflect the worst to each other all the time. So suffering is not in what we are actually saying to the other, but how we each perceive what we hear. What is worse is that these reactions become a habit, a patten, a conditioning. Each argument follows the same pattern unconsciously.
Esateys mentions this all the time too. A relationship will show you all your unfinished business (conditioning). It will only show you - YOU. Dont keep looking for a relationship, unless you are willing to look all the pieces of yourself that you dont particularly like. A relationship will also show you all the beautiful sides of you, but be prepared to see the unpleasant stuff too.
This can happen very easily in an intimate relationship too. I am sure most couples are stuck in some such loops and are not able to get out of it. If both parties are aware and committed to the relationship, this awareness can really help move things forward. First of all we would need to help each other overcome the core belief around guilt and being good enough. This could be done through heartfelt understanding and unconditional love. Then when our buttons are pushed at least one person could make a different choice to break that pattern or conditioning or reactive cycle. The quality of life can improve so much if couples are able to do this for each other, really help each other see their conditioning and break out of it. I think when conditioning and these old unhelpful ideas are gone, what is left is love, joy and a whole lot of creativity.
In our case, the awareness came, but we did not have the will to understand or the commitment to break through. Its sad. Sometimes you can break through at others you have to let go.
So much love,
Samanvitha
This friend of mine and I have had a turbulent relationship. We have been there for each other through some tough times, so the friendship endures, but almost everytime we meet there is some unpleasantness. Today when we met again in no time we were both getting hurt and upset. I suddenly remembered one of the teachings from the Oneness University which is "Suffering is not in the fact, but in the perception of the fact". It became very clear to me that I tend to make him feel guilty very easily and he tends to put me down all the time. It occurred to me that guilt is a theme in his life (he is not able to do more, be more, give more etc) and not being good enough is a theme in mine (I can do more, be more, give more). Actually we are both quite similar, but we reflect the worst to each other all the time. So suffering is not in what we are actually saying to the other, but how we each perceive what we hear. What is worse is that these reactions become a habit, a patten, a conditioning. Each argument follows the same pattern unconsciously.
Esateys mentions this all the time too. A relationship will show you all your unfinished business (conditioning). It will only show you - YOU. Dont keep looking for a relationship, unless you are willing to look all the pieces of yourself that you dont particularly like. A relationship will also show you all the beautiful sides of you, but be prepared to see the unpleasant stuff too.
This can happen very easily in an intimate relationship too. I am sure most couples are stuck in some such loops and are not able to get out of it. If both parties are aware and committed to the relationship, this awareness can really help move things forward. First of all we would need to help each other overcome the core belief around guilt and being good enough. This could be done through heartfelt understanding and unconditional love. Then when our buttons are pushed at least one person could make a different choice to break that pattern or conditioning or reactive cycle. The quality of life can improve so much if couples are able to do this for each other, really help each other see their conditioning and break out of it. I think when conditioning and these old unhelpful ideas are gone, what is left is love, joy and a whole lot of creativity.
In our case, the awareness came, but we did not have the will to understand or the commitment to break through. Its sad. Sometimes you can break through at others you have to let go.
So much love,
Samanvitha
Monday, June 2, 2008
Deeksha and Running
I ran my first ultra marathon(50 km) on April 19th, 2008. Before my race I asked two of my blessing giver friends (Anu and Rajeev) to give me a Oneness blessing with the intent that the race feel effortless and I finish feeling strong and joyous. An account of my experience is on my running blog.
Bottom line, it works :)
Bottom line, it works :)
Fabulous Death
At my age, in my early 30s, I don't spend a lot of time thinking of death. I just spoke to my beloved friend, teacher, and mentor Esateys and she said even in her late 50s she feels like she is in her 20s or 30s and does not really think or feel old. I am shocked when some people think my parents are old. Its becoming clear to me that we carry an image of ourselves and those in our life and relate to and from that image. Its not just about age, the image is all the labels through which we relate to the world and ourselves. I am slim-fat, lazy-energetic, bright-dull, generous-frugal, selfish-selfless so on and so forth.
The reason this topic came up is that I was reading Esateys' blog and she mentioned that she intuitively knew she needed to get a CT scan. They found a tumor and she had surgery last week. It was benign and she is recovering fine. When I read her blog entry, there was no fear in me, for a part of me knew she will not leave just yet. But last week my brother had a car accident in India. I was to pick up my close friend with the same name as my brother from the airport that day. When I heard the news, I felt a deep pang. Nothing happened to my brother, but it reminded me about how fleeting life is, and anything can happen. What you take for granted in this moment, can be gone in the next.
This topic had also come up with my new Soul friend whom I discovered a few weeks ago. He said he does not think about a fabulous life, but thinks about a fabulous death. He said "I feel that every persons life is like movie script. It has its own laughter, drama, good and bad. Before one dies, their whole script goes through their mind. It is like a few seconds movie. At the end of the movie either you smile or you frown. If you frown then your life wasn't fabulous and if you smiled then your life and your journey was worth it. So if we can think about this kind of death, then we can be more aware of what kinda movie we want to play when we die."
I am also thinking about the difference in my reaction to the possibility of loss of Esateys and my brother/friend. One reason could be that when I am with Esateys, I am usually at a higher plane of consciousness. Her energy quickly brings me to the present. When I am with her, I experience her, I experience myself, I feel very connected. I carry this connection with me at all times. So there is a fulfillment I feel about my relationship with her. I also feel, I will never really lose her. I know her spirit and essence will endure with me. I feel one with her.
With my brother and my friend, this is not the case. There is so much unresolved I feel. I have not experienced them. There is still a separation. There is him and there is me. It clarifies my goal for life. My purpose here is to really feel one. One within my self, one with others, one with mother earth and one with the universe. This can only happen if I can experience reality as it is. There is true fulfillment only in that. The movie I want to see when I die, is a string of moments fully experienced - every laughter, every drama, all that was good and bad.
Hugs,
Samanvitha
The reason this topic came up is that I was reading Esateys' blog and she mentioned that she intuitively knew she needed to get a CT scan. They found a tumor and she had surgery last week. It was benign and she is recovering fine. When I read her blog entry, there was no fear in me, for a part of me knew she will not leave just yet. But last week my brother had a car accident in India. I was to pick up my close friend with the same name as my brother from the airport that day. When I heard the news, I felt a deep pang. Nothing happened to my brother, but it reminded me about how fleeting life is, and anything can happen. What you take for granted in this moment, can be gone in the next.
This topic had also come up with my new Soul friend whom I discovered a few weeks ago. He said he does not think about a fabulous life, but thinks about a fabulous death. He said "I feel that every persons life is like movie script. It has its own laughter, drama, good and bad. Before one dies, their whole script goes through their mind. It is like a few seconds movie. At the end of the movie either you smile or you frown. If you frown then your life wasn't fabulous and if you smiled then your life and your journey was worth it. So if we can think about this kind of death, then we can be more aware of what kinda movie we want to play when we die."
I am also thinking about the difference in my reaction to the possibility of loss of Esateys and my brother/friend. One reason could be that when I am with Esateys, I am usually at a higher plane of consciousness. Her energy quickly brings me to the present. When I am with her, I experience her, I experience myself, I feel very connected. I carry this connection with me at all times. So there is a fulfillment I feel about my relationship with her. I also feel, I will never really lose her. I know her spirit and essence will endure with me. I feel one with her.
With my brother and my friend, this is not the case. There is so much unresolved I feel. I have not experienced them. There is still a separation. There is him and there is me. It clarifies my goal for life. My purpose here is to really feel one. One within my self, one with others, one with mother earth and one with the universe. This can only happen if I can experience reality as it is. There is true fulfillment only in that. The movie I want to see when I die, is a string of moments fully experienced - every laughter, every drama, all that was good and bad.
Hugs,
Samanvitha
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Being Authentic
Anandagiriji from Oneness University says the journey begins with the recognition of where you are. He also says all suffering arises from wanting to be someone we are not.
Sri Anandagiriji's about Psychological Becoming:
All of us are constantly striving to become beautiful people. We want to change ourselves, transform ourselves, become perfect in every way. We don’t want to be angry, we don’t want to be judgmental, we don’t want to be jealous, we don’t want to compare, we don’t want to be dishonest; we want to become this beautiful person. And all of us carry within us the image of this beautiful person. The image painted to us by our religion, by our scriptures, by our spiritual tradition, by our society, by our parents. What is this image? The image of the person, who is never angry, who is never anxious, who is never afraid, who is sweet, full of love, generous, non-judgmental, non-jealous, etc … and constantly you are trying to become this person. You read a book and see you can become this person. You go to a temple, mosque, church, a synagogue and see if you can become this person or you attend lectures like this, seminars like this, hoping you would become this person. There is constantly a war, a battle of conflict happening within, a conflict between what you are and what you should be like, your present state and the beautiful person you should be, and that is why we constantly find ourselves evaluating every thing into two. Evaluating our thoughts, our speech, our actions, like a referee, saying this is good, this is bad, this should be there, this should not be there. You feel guilty, and then you do all things trying to feel better. We waste so much of our time, our energy and our life, just trying not to feel guilty. And you hope that one day you would become this beautiful person.
Today I experienced suffering again because of this. Having to do something was causing me unhappiness and so was not doing it. I had to really listen to my story. If I did not do it, I felt I was going to be perceived as mean, undependable, ungrateful. More than that in my own rule book I felt I should do what I have committed to do. I also had these expectations from my parents that one should go out of their way to be helpful. So I wanted to do this task due to all my rules and conditionings. My heart did not want to do it because it was inauthentic. Does this mean I am not a loving, caring person? This certainly did not feel good. Being authentic is not easy. You have to really face your deepest rules. Also listening to your heart need not always mean it will be a loving thing you do (although in the larger scheme of things it is more kind, because its real).
Ultimately I listened to my heart. I was called undependable. It hurt. I sat with that pain and also the guilt of having hurt another. I sat with all the explanations and the justifications my mind and ego came up with. I sat with the need to be told by others that I did the right thing. Sometimes there is pain in either option. You cannot be free of the pain... you can only be free of the fear of experiencing pain and be free of the fear of feeling guilty. There is so much in life we do or not do because we are afraid to feel guilty. There is perfection in it all when experienced fully.
Much Love,
Samanvitha
Sri Anandagiriji's about Psychological Becoming:
All of us are constantly striving to become beautiful people. We want to change ourselves, transform ourselves, become perfect in every way. We don’t want to be angry, we don’t want to be judgmental, we don’t want to be jealous, we don’t want to compare, we don’t want to be dishonest; we want to become this beautiful person. And all of us carry within us the image of this beautiful person. The image painted to us by our religion, by our scriptures, by our spiritual tradition, by our society, by our parents. What is this image? The image of the person, who is never angry, who is never anxious, who is never afraid, who is sweet, full of love, generous, non-judgmental, non-jealous, etc … and constantly you are trying to become this person. You read a book and see you can become this person. You go to a temple, mosque, church, a synagogue and see if you can become this person or you attend lectures like this, seminars like this, hoping you would become this person. There is constantly a war, a battle of conflict happening within, a conflict between what you are and what you should be like, your present state and the beautiful person you should be, and that is why we constantly find ourselves evaluating every thing into two. Evaluating our thoughts, our speech, our actions, like a referee, saying this is good, this is bad, this should be there, this should not be there. You feel guilty, and then you do all things trying to feel better. We waste so much of our time, our energy and our life, just trying not to feel guilty. And you hope that one day you would become this beautiful person.
Today I experienced suffering again because of this. Having to do something was causing me unhappiness and so was not doing it. I had to really listen to my story. If I did not do it, I felt I was going to be perceived as mean, undependable, ungrateful. More than that in my own rule book I felt I should do what I have committed to do. I also had these expectations from my parents that one should go out of their way to be helpful. So I wanted to do this task due to all my rules and conditionings. My heart did not want to do it because it was inauthentic. Does this mean I am not a loving, caring person? This certainly did not feel good. Being authentic is not easy. You have to really face your deepest rules. Also listening to your heart need not always mean it will be a loving thing you do (although in the larger scheme of things it is more kind, because its real).
Ultimately I listened to my heart. I was called undependable. It hurt. I sat with that pain and also the guilt of having hurt another. I sat with all the explanations and the justifications my mind and ego came up with. I sat with the need to be told by others that I did the right thing. Sometimes there is pain in either option. You cannot be free of the pain... you can only be free of the fear of experiencing pain and be free of the fear of feeling guilty. There is so much in life we do or not do because we are afraid to feel guilty. There is perfection in it all when experienced fully.
Much Love,
Samanvitha
Sunday, April 27, 2008
My first Oneness Blessing (Deeksha)
I received my first Deeksha at the Tony Robbins Date with Destiny event in December 2006. This was an intent Deeksha. Tony and Sage led us through Chakra Dhyana and then told us they would give us this energy tansfer and we had to close our eye and go into gratitude. At this time in my life, GOD, energy, universal consciousness etc was not even in my vocabulary. At best I believed I was agnostic. After the Deeksha, Tony asked us to just write very fast whatever came to mind. Here is what I wrote:
I am incredibly grateful to God, my parents, my loves, my friends, and everyone who has ever touched my life for loving me, taking care of me, and teaching me about life and love and joy. Thank you! I would not be who I am if not for your undying faith in me, for your pure and abundant love for me. I want to tell you that I am here to take all that you have ever given me and shared with me, maximize it and share it with all the lives I will touch.
I am incredibly grateful for all the talents, abilities, and a strong loving heart that God has given me. I will make the most of it to make this world a better place while I am here and touch the souls and spirits with pure love and light.
I am thankful for my body, my temple which will give me the strength, vitality and vibrancy to spread God's love. I am thankful for my intelligence and sharpness which can absorb all the knowledge and use it to make world a better place for the people here.
I am grateful for my ability to love the little things, the moon, the breeze, the petal, the bird, and the squirrel - to share the magnificence of this universe and our world with the loving souls in my life. I am grateful for the opportunities and challenges I have had, and will have, which will help me grow, learn, experience new things and give me the opportunity to help maximize life's experience for those around me.
I am here to serve and I look forward to a magnificent life. This is the most magnificent moment of my life and hooray!! I AM ALIVE... I AM HERE!
So much love,
Samanvitha
I am incredibly grateful to God, my parents, my loves, my friends, and everyone who has ever touched my life for loving me, taking care of me, and teaching me about life and love and joy. Thank you! I would not be who I am if not for your undying faith in me, for your pure and abundant love for me. I want to tell you that I am here to take all that you have ever given me and shared with me, maximize it and share it with all the lives I will touch.
I am incredibly grateful for all the talents, abilities, and a strong loving heart that God has given me. I will make the most of it to make this world a better place while I am here and touch the souls and spirits with pure love and light.
I am thankful for my body, my temple which will give me the strength, vitality and vibrancy to spread God's love. I am thankful for my intelligence and sharpness which can absorb all the knowledge and use it to make world a better place for the people here.
I am grateful for my ability to love the little things, the moon, the breeze, the petal, the bird, and the squirrel - to share the magnificence of this universe and our world with the loving souls in my life. I am grateful for the opportunities and challenges I have had, and will have, which will help me grow, learn, experience new things and give me the opportunity to help maximize life's experience for those around me.
I am here to serve and I look forward to a magnificent life. This is the most magnificent moment of my life and hooray!! I AM ALIVE... I AM HERE!
So much love,
Samanvitha
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Compassion
Dear Hearts,
I was really struggling with compassion for a couple of years. It was eating at me. Deep down I wanted to be compassionate. I wanted to be a caring person. I believed I always had the best of intentions. When people close to me were hurting I was there for them. I would reason with my friends that there was another way to look at the situation. I would rather blame myself, look at how I contributed to a situation through my beliefs, my actions than play victim. I applied the same to my friends. I truly believed that if they took responsibility, they would be better off. To me this was compassion. I was genuinely invested in reducing their suffering. But for some reason this always had the exact opposite effect. I suffered because I thought I was compassionate but was not perceived as that.
The first step for me was a recognition that I am not compassionate and that I do not know how to be compassionate. This was very hard. Its painful when you shatter your own image of who you are. Falling in our own eyes is perhaps the worst feeling. A friend explained to me that when I am trying to provide solutions to reduce suffering I am actually just thinking of myself. I am more invested in my image of a person who can be fair, a person who is a problem solver. I am also imposing my way of dealing with problems through self-examination on them. She told me compassion is when you feel anothers pain, without the need to make it go away.
On the first night at the Oneness university, I got to experience this. While my roommate cried through the night in intense emotional suffering, I held her, listened to her, and at times cried with her when the pain tore through me as well. I had no interest in making her pain go away. So my first experience of compassion came after I surrendered to a possibility that I am not compassionate. I have since then had other experiences where I can step out of the situation and be there for people. I have also had experiences when I sense pain in another, but my personal pain is too much for me to reach out. I then surrender to the fact that right now I need to be compassionate with myself and feel my own pain.
God is where all contradictions co-exist. Sometimes surrendering to the fact that right now I AM NOT THAT (at least not having the fear of not being that), might make us experience the other fact I AM THAT.
Much love,
Samanvitha
I was really struggling with compassion for a couple of years. It was eating at me. Deep down I wanted to be compassionate. I wanted to be a caring person. I believed I always had the best of intentions. When people close to me were hurting I was there for them. I would reason with my friends that there was another way to look at the situation. I would rather blame myself, look at how I contributed to a situation through my beliefs, my actions than play victim. I applied the same to my friends. I truly believed that if they took responsibility, they would be better off. To me this was compassion. I was genuinely invested in reducing their suffering. But for some reason this always had the exact opposite effect. I suffered because I thought I was compassionate but was not perceived as that.
The first step for me was a recognition that I am not compassionate and that I do not know how to be compassionate. This was very hard. Its painful when you shatter your own image of who you are. Falling in our own eyes is perhaps the worst feeling. A friend explained to me that when I am trying to provide solutions to reduce suffering I am actually just thinking of myself. I am more invested in my image of a person who can be fair, a person who is a problem solver. I am also imposing my way of dealing with problems through self-examination on them. She told me compassion is when you feel anothers pain, without the need to make it go away.
On the first night at the Oneness university, I got to experience this. While my roommate cried through the night in intense emotional suffering, I held her, listened to her, and at times cried with her when the pain tore through me as well. I had no interest in making her pain go away. So my first experience of compassion came after I surrendered to a possibility that I am not compassionate. I have since then had other experiences where I can step out of the situation and be there for people. I have also had experiences when I sense pain in another, but my personal pain is too much for me to reach out. I then surrender to the fact that right now I need to be compassionate with myself and feel my own pain.
God is where all contradictions co-exist. Sometimes surrendering to the fact that right now I AM NOT THAT (at least not having the fear of not being that), might make us experience the other fact I AM THAT.
Much love,
Samanvitha
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Oneness and personality integration
Yesterday I had an argument with a friend. As the fight reached its peak, I looked at the drama and my personalities playing in it. It was fascinating. I found many:
Talking to them and integrating them was a wonderful experience. I am grateful for this experience. I also truely recognized why situations are complex.. that I am at war within myself when something unfolds. I also saw how they emerge. Its usually the child that gets sad or scared about losing love. Then all the rest emerge to protect the child.. each one thinks she knows best. There are also so many emotions that its hard to name it.
We all have multiple personalities. We created them as children to protect ourselves when we were shocked. When suddenly the realization struck that I am not always loved for being me. These personalities have helped us deal with life. They all have a good intention. Before we can feel one with another, we need to accept and love all our personalities. We need to feel ONE within. I am glad I started on the process of internal integration.
Blessings,
Samanvitha
- The Fair one who wants peace with everyone was feeling very fidgety. Wanted to somehow make it all ok
- The Bad girl was angry, resentful and wanted revenge
- The Good girl wanted him to see logic, reason
- The little girl was sad and scared at having lost secure love
- The compassionate one could see and feel his pain
- The mother wanted to make it all all right for him
- The wild one was sad that she cannot play with him anymore
- The friend missed him
- The pessimistic one said she knew this would happen..
- The optimistic one was glad that its the end of a chapter.
- The father wanted to be helpful and give advice
- The rebel wanted to say hell with the world, no one understands me
- The acheiver wanted to do something, manage the situation
- The victim wanted to blame him for everything
- The timid person wanted to run to friends for help
Talking to them and integrating them was a wonderful experience. I am grateful for this experience. I also truely recognized why situations are complex.. that I am at war within myself when something unfolds. I also saw how they emerge. Its usually the child that gets sad or scared about losing love. Then all the rest emerge to protect the child.. each one thinks she knows best. There are also so many emotions that its hard to name it.
We all have multiple personalities. We created them as children to protect ourselves when we were shocked. When suddenly the realization struck that I am not always loved for being me. These personalities have helped us deal with life. They all have a good intention. Before we can feel one with another, we need to accept and love all our personalities. We need to feel ONE within. I am glad I started on the process of internal integration.
Blessings,
Samanvitha
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Oneness Process - Fiji
Dear Hearts,
I just returned from Fiji after a fabulous week spent attending the Oneness University (www.onenessuniversity.org).
It was the most amazing experience. We were also very lucky to have gone for the first course and the opening ceremony. This level 1 is equivalent to the original level 2 program. They will have a new level 2 program in Sept in Fiji and Oct in India for the US participants. So the format was very different.
Lots of Love,
Samanvitha
I just returned from Fiji after a fabulous week spent attending the Oneness University (www.onenessuniversity.org).
It was the most amazing experience. We were also very lucky to have gone for the first course and the opening ceremony. This level 1 is equivalent to the original level 2 program. They will have a new level 2 program in Sept in Fiji and Oct in India for the US participants. So the format was very different.
The opening ceremony was a blessing I am very fortunate to have received.
- We had Krishnaji - Sri Amma Bhagavans son in person there.
- We had Tony and Sage Robbins
- We had Ananda Giriji in person.
- We had Sri Amma and Sri Bhagavan there through a 3D teleporter. We could only see their shouldersand face. They both said a few words and we could each go for an individual blessing.
- We had all the world wide Oneness coordinators. Including Raniji from the US.
- We had Deva Premal and Miten. They performed life on one of the days for us.
- Did Chakra Dhyana and got some Deekshas.
- It was supposed to be a very auspicious time.. all 9 planets were aligned.
The second day we had Tony (www.tonyrobbins.com) do a session on human needs and levels of consciousness. He is very awake and comes from the heart. He touched my heart as he always does. This was a previlege since we were about 108 - 110 people. In the evening we had Ananda Giriji conduct a session in person. The next batch will get recorded sessions of these as well.
The sessions followed the following sequence
- Suffering leads to Faith
- Faith leads to Joy
- Joy leads to Rapture
- Rapture leads to Calm
- Calm leads to Bliss
- Bliss leads to Concentration
- Concentration leads to Experiencing Reality as it is.
Each day we had Yoga (led by Guru Singh www.gurusingh.com), Meditation (breathing), Recorded sessions from Ananda Giriji (when he was there in person earlier in Fiji), Breakout sessions with the Dasas, Evening blessing from the Cosmic Being (Uttama). We were requested to keep silent for 1/2 day after some of the blessings inorder to go inwards.
More about my journey soon.Lots of Love,
Samanvitha
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Why Oneness Blessing?
The Oneness Blessing results in growth in consciousness. It is the phenomenon behind the work of oneness. It is an act of energy transfer by touch or by the power of intent.
The Oneness Blessing initiates a neuro-biological change in the brain. Oneness Blessing results in the activation of certain centres causing more connectedness and the de-activation of certain other centres that lead to separation thus bringing about a shift in the perception and experience of life.
The Oneness Blessing is also found to help in the healing of the body and in the discharge of repetitive emotional patterns, resulting in greater ease and comfort with oneself. In relationships it enables a greater sensitivity and connectedness with the other, freeing you from the limitations of your judgments and conditionings. Success and prosperity begins with consciousness – a capacity to expand your horizon of thinking and an understanding of the universe around you, the principles governing you.
Why Oneness Blessing?
o Opens the doors of consciousness
o Awakens Intelligence
o Enhances memory retention
o Increases ability to learn
o Takes you into alpha
o Creates better hemispheric synchronization
o Brings love to relationships
o Heals hurts
o Increases listening
o Helps experience the other
o Awakens compassion
o Instils affection
o Infuses vitality
o Heals the body by healing the mind
o Improves metabolic activity
o Relaxes the body
o Helps build love and appreciation for the body
o Invokes auspicious energies
o Creates a prosperity consciousness
o Removes blocks that hinder success
o Makes possible a mental frame for abundance
The Oneness Blessing originates in the consciousness of Sri Amma Bhagavan.
For more information on The Oneness Blessing go to www.onenessmovement.org
Samanvitha, Certified Oneness Facilitator, (408) 464-3920, samanvitha.rao@gmail.com
The Oneness Blessing initiates a neuro-biological change in the brain. Oneness Blessing results in the activation of certain centres causing more connectedness and the de-activation of certain other centres that lead to separation thus bringing about a shift in the perception and experience of life.
The Oneness Blessing is also found to help in the healing of the body and in the discharge of repetitive emotional patterns, resulting in greater ease and comfort with oneself. In relationships it enables a greater sensitivity and connectedness with the other, freeing you from the limitations of your judgments and conditionings. Success and prosperity begins with consciousness – a capacity to expand your horizon of thinking and an understanding of the universe around you, the principles governing you.
Why Oneness Blessing?
o Opens the doors of consciousness
o Awakens Intelligence
o Enhances memory retention
o Increases ability to learn
o Takes you into alpha
o Creates better hemispheric synchronization
o Brings love to relationships
o Heals hurts
o Increases listening
o Helps experience the other
o Awakens compassion
o Instils affection
o Infuses vitality
o Heals the body by healing the mind
o Improves metabolic activity
o Relaxes the body
o Helps build love and appreciation for the body
o Invokes auspicious energies
o Creates a prosperity consciousness
o Removes blocks that hinder success
o Makes possible a mental frame for abundance
The Oneness Blessing originates in the consciousness of Sri Amma Bhagavan.
For more information on The Oneness Blessing go to www.onenessmovement.org
Samanvitha, Certified Oneness Facilitator, (408) 464-3920, samanvitha.rao@gmail.com
Oneness Blessing (Deeksha)
The Oneness Blessing is a non-denominational experience that transfers physical energy, awakening our connection with the oneness in everything, allowing each of us to deepen our relationship with those we love, with ourselves, with strangers, and with our Creator.
The Oneness Blessings initiates a neurobiological change in the brain-the parietal lobes calm down, the nervous system relaxes, and the senses become unclouded by the mind’s interpretations. This shift creates a natural clarity of perception and allows the individual to immediately experience feelings of joy, inner freedom, and love, regardless of their environment or background in meditation.
How is the Blessing Transferred? What might I experience?
The Oneness Blessing is transferred by the Blessing giver normally placing his or her hands onto the crown of your head, usually for about 1 minute. Experiences during the Blessing vary, sometimes strong, sometimes subtle, sometimes delayed until even days later. The recipient may experience a tingling sensation in the head, or blissful energy flowing through the body, or sometimes nothing at all. Whatever the experience the recipient can trust that the process of enlightenment has begun, a process designed by Divine Grace for your own nature that will lead gradually (or sometimes spontaneously) into your own awakening.
Who can offer (Deeksha) Oneness Blessing?
The Blessing can be transferred by anyone who has received the transmission and training during the special process in India or Fiji. The Deeksha giver then works, as an empty vessel, for the energy to transfer to the receiver.
Does Deeksha belong to any particular religion or belief?
Deeksha does not belong to any religion, nor any particular belief or spiritual path. Deeksha is given each day to people all over the world, people of all races, all religions all spiritual beliefs or no spiritual beliefs, and to people of all nationalities. It is not necessary to change one’s religion, nor adapt a new guru or spiritual master to receive Deeksha-nor to offer Deeksha to others.
Why has Deeksha come at this time?
Our planet, and all of humanity, is currently undergoing a major evolutionary trans-formation . This is impacting our environment, our social structures, and our individual and collective consciousness. Sri Bhagavan and Sri Amma were charged with this mission when they were born. This phenomenon of transformation flowed through them, offering enlightenment to the masses for the first time in thousands of years. In a very short time we will witness all of humanity shift into what is being called the Golden Age of Enlightenment.
Can all of humanity really make this shift?
Yes. According to Sri Bhagavan it is necessary for only 0.001% of the world’s population to become enlightened. 64,000 people. Once this happens the collective consciousness will be so greatly affected so as to cause people the world over to become enlightened.
For more information on The Oneness Blessing go to www.onenessmovement.org
Samanvitha, Certified Oneness Facilitator, (408) 464-3920, samanvitha.rao@gmail.com
The Oneness Blessings initiates a neurobiological change in the brain-the parietal lobes calm down, the nervous system relaxes, and the senses become unclouded by the mind’s interpretations. This shift creates a natural clarity of perception and allows the individual to immediately experience feelings of joy, inner freedom, and love, regardless of their environment or background in meditation.
How is the Blessing Transferred? What might I experience?
The Oneness Blessing is transferred by the Blessing giver normally placing his or her hands onto the crown of your head, usually for about 1 minute. Experiences during the Blessing vary, sometimes strong, sometimes subtle, sometimes delayed until even days later. The recipient may experience a tingling sensation in the head, or blissful energy flowing through the body, or sometimes nothing at all. Whatever the experience the recipient can trust that the process of enlightenment has begun, a process designed by Divine Grace for your own nature that will lead gradually (or sometimes spontaneously) into your own awakening.
Who can offer (Deeksha) Oneness Blessing?
The Blessing can be transferred by anyone who has received the transmission and training during the special process in India or Fiji. The Deeksha giver then works, as an empty vessel, for the energy to transfer to the receiver.
Does Deeksha belong to any particular religion or belief?
Deeksha does not belong to any religion, nor any particular belief or spiritual path. Deeksha is given each day to people all over the world, people of all races, all religions all spiritual beliefs or no spiritual beliefs, and to people of all nationalities. It is not necessary to change one’s religion, nor adapt a new guru or spiritual master to receive Deeksha-nor to offer Deeksha to others.
Why has Deeksha come at this time?
Our planet, and all of humanity, is currently undergoing a major evolutionary trans-formation . This is impacting our environment, our social structures, and our individual and collective consciousness. Sri Bhagavan and Sri Amma were charged with this mission when they were born. This phenomenon of transformation flowed through them, offering enlightenment to the masses for the first time in thousands of years. In a very short time we will witness all of humanity shift into what is being called the Golden Age of Enlightenment.
Can all of humanity really make this shift?
Yes. According to Sri Bhagavan it is necessary for only 0.001% of the world’s population to become enlightened. 64,000 people. Once this happens the collective consciousness will be so greatly affected so as to cause people the world over to become enlightened.
For more information on The Oneness Blessing go to www.onenessmovement.org
Samanvitha, Certified Oneness Facilitator, (408) 464-3920, samanvitha.rao@gmail.com
Monday, March 17, 2008
Life Script
Esateys(www.esateys.com) introduced me to life scripting. Its a manifestation tool for expressing how you wish to experience all areas of your life as if its already done. I read my script every morning and evening.
I awaken each morning in a state of bliss, next to my life partner in our beautiful home, surrounded by natural beauty. We are more in love, more attracted to each other, and more deeply connected than ever. We communicate clearly easily and from the heart. We share an openness, safety, and acceptance of each other. Our time together is filled with playfulness, laughter, creativity and passion. At other times when we are experiencing challenges, we hold the space for each other to express, evolve and stay with what we need to for our journey. We are completely committed to each other. We experience a deep heart felt gratitude for the presence of the other in our life. An expanding freedom, love and joy fills our heart because of the perfect way in which life is evolving with each other. Our life is more awesome than we could ever dream or imagine. Miracles happen everyday for us.
Our life purpose has become one. Our creativity and passion flows and people are transformed by who we are and what we do. Work has become play. We enjoy what we do immensely. Wealth miraculously appears in our life. We have more money than we could ever spend or give away. Travel, learning, and new experiences enrich our life frequently. We are surrounded by freiends and family and love sharing our many gifts with them and they with us. We feel blessed for the presense of so many loving and supportive souls in our life.
Our bodies are stronger, more fit and more vibrant than ever before. We are radiant and glowing with good health. We find great joy in spending time outdoors, hiking, camping, and playing. Our bodies naturally gravitate towards healthful foods and we find it easy to take care of our body temple. Healing, divine energy flows through us easily. We feel blessed to be able to share the gifts of healing and awakening with those whose lives we touch.
Our minds are clear and fully connected to all that is. We find it easy to be present and create our life with inspiration from source. Our inner consciousness takes us beyond where our mind knows to go. We feel one with all of creation. A deep knowing guides us in life and all our experiences fill us with love, joy, freedom, abundance and a deep sense of blessing.
I awaken each morning in a state of bliss, next to my life partner in our beautiful home, surrounded by natural beauty. We are more in love, more attracted to each other, and more deeply connected than ever. We communicate clearly easily and from the heart. We share an openness, safety, and acceptance of each other. Our time together is filled with playfulness, laughter, creativity and passion. At other times when we are experiencing challenges, we hold the space for each other to express, evolve and stay with what we need to for our journey. We are completely committed to each other. We experience a deep heart felt gratitude for the presence of the other in our life. An expanding freedom, love and joy fills our heart because of the perfect way in which life is evolving with each other. Our life is more awesome than we could ever dream or imagine. Miracles happen everyday for us.
Our life purpose has become one. Our creativity and passion flows and people are transformed by who we are and what we do. Work has become play. We enjoy what we do immensely. Wealth miraculously appears in our life. We have more money than we could ever spend or give away. Travel, learning, and new experiences enrich our life frequently. We are surrounded by freiends and family and love sharing our many gifts with them and they with us. We feel blessed for the presense of so many loving and supportive souls in our life.
Our bodies are stronger, more fit and more vibrant than ever before. We are radiant and glowing with good health. We find great joy in spending time outdoors, hiking, camping, and playing. Our bodies naturally gravitate towards healthful foods and we find it easy to take care of our body temple. Healing, divine energy flows through us easily. We feel blessed to be able to share the gifts of healing and awakening with those whose lives we touch.
Our minds are clear and fully connected to all that is. We find it easy to be present and create our life with inspiration from source. Our inner consciousness takes us beyond where our mind knows to go. We feel one with all of creation. A deep knowing guides us in life and all our experiences fill us with love, joy, freedom, abundance and a deep sense of blessing.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Eye Work
Eyework is something we did at a retreat I attended with Esateys and Rafael (www.esateys.com). We gaze one on one in Esateys's eyes and have a conversation with her. She talks to you from a higher plane of consciousness where she calls herself "The One". My Eyework for the commitment I made to myself to go home, go home to a complete unification with who I am and embrace all aspects of myself and the GOD I AM.
ONE: What shall it be?
ME: I want to go HOME.
ONE: So Be It
ME: So Be It
ONE: Are you willing to do whatever it takes to do that?
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to look at all of your fears?
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to walk right through them?
ME: Yes
ONE: Then know that it is done.
ME: It is done!
ONE: And know that anything that has kept you in the illusion of being separate, is going to accelerate in your face, and its going to be important for you to listen to this, to remind yourself, that if you appear to be in pain, and suffering, and illusion, and lost, and unloved, and anything that may come up -- that its all a lie. And all of that is just the illusion trying to trick you into thinking that what you asked for, you got the opposite of. Because these gateways will come up for you to walk through, and you wont let anything or anyone stop you. You will stand in your pain, you will stand in your suffering, you will stand in your grief, and you will stand in your anger -- If by chance you have any of that occur, and you will look at it square in the eye and say "I know who you are. You are the illusion trying to make me think that I am lost. I know the truth. I know who I am."
ME: Yes. I do.
ONE: And you will surround yourself with people, that will remind you of that. You will speak to everyone that you speak to, like a Grand Master. And you will love yourself like you have never loved yourself before. And you will be gentle, and kind, and compassionate with yourself.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will let yourself be open, and let your walls come down. So that you can see the truth and you will let yourself be vulnerable.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will allow the great love of who you are, to consume every single cell of your body. And you will let that great love be overflowing from you and give it to everyone. And you will know service. Because service is unconditionality and the over, ever flowing love of the Great I AM expressing.
ME: Yes.
ONE: And you will be prepared for your life to shift, and to change and to go to whatever direction that the Great I AM takes you.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will acknowledge any feelings that may come with that. But you will continue to say YES.
ME: Yes
ONE: Know that truly in this moment, this statement that you make, and all of these agreements that you have agreed to, are Law. And in fact, nothing and no one, will stand in your way. And you will be pushed, and you will not be given a break, meaning that you will not allow yourself to say No, even if you are uncomfortable.
ME: Yes
ONE: For you are picking the path that I myself and others have said Yes to. And as a collective, in this room, there are many that are where you are. And if each and everyone of these beings, say YES, like you just have, it will make each and everyone of these pathways easier. For we will be holding hands and connecting, and ascending if you will, simultaneously and together. So through the love and connection with your brothers and sisters that you have here, you will find that your life will be so much easier than you ever thought possible.
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to share this with others?
ME: Yes
ONE: For those that choose to have a copy, You will remind yourself of the Truth, and you will lead yourself in your Grand Path to full and unwavering commitment, to the Unified Totality of WHO YOU ARE. And know THAT IT IS DONE.
ME: It is Done.
ONE: So Be IT
ME: So Be IT
ONE: This is your Destiny. This is your Life, This is your Truth, This is your Strength. This is WHO YOU ARE.
ME: YES
ONE: And I will hold you accountable for who you are. And I will see this strength, and this power, and this clarity, in your eyes, in as many moments, as you will open them for me to see. And I will be with you.
ME: Thank you.
ONE: This is the bright brilliant light who you are. Right Here. Right Now. Power. I LOVE YOU.
ME: I LOVE YOU TOO.
ONE: What shall it be?
ME: I want to go HOME.
ONE: So Be It
ME: So Be It
ONE: Are you willing to do whatever it takes to do that?
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to look at all of your fears?
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to walk right through them?
ME: Yes
ONE: Then know that it is done.
ME: It is done!
ONE: And know that anything that has kept you in the illusion of being separate, is going to accelerate in your face, and its going to be important for you to listen to this, to remind yourself, that if you appear to be in pain, and suffering, and illusion, and lost, and unloved, and anything that may come up -- that its all a lie. And all of that is just the illusion trying to trick you into thinking that what you asked for, you got the opposite of. Because these gateways will come up for you to walk through, and you wont let anything or anyone stop you. You will stand in your pain, you will stand in your suffering, you will stand in your grief, and you will stand in your anger -- If by chance you have any of that occur, and you will look at it square in the eye and say "I know who you are. You are the illusion trying to make me think that I am lost. I know the truth. I know who I am."
ME: Yes. I do.
ONE: And you will surround yourself with people, that will remind you of that. You will speak to everyone that you speak to, like a Grand Master. And you will love yourself like you have never loved yourself before. And you will be gentle, and kind, and compassionate with yourself.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will let yourself be open, and let your walls come down. So that you can see the truth and you will let yourself be vulnerable.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will allow the great love of who you are, to consume every single cell of your body. And you will let that great love be overflowing from you and give it to everyone. And you will know service. Because service is unconditionality and the over, ever flowing love of the Great I AM expressing.
ME: Yes.
ONE: And you will be prepared for your life to shift, and to change and to go to whatever direction that the Great I AM takes you.
ME: Yes
ONE: And you will acknowledge any feelings that may come with that. But you will continue to say YES.
ME: Yes
ONE: Know that truly in this moment, this statement that you make, and all of these agreements that you have agreed to, are Law. And in fact, nothing and no one, will stand in your way. And you will be pushed, and you will not be given a break, meaning that you will not allow yourself to say No, even if you are uncomfortable.
ME: Yes
ONE: For you are picking the path that I myself and others have said Yes to. And as a collective, in this room, there are many that are where you are. And if each and everyone of these beings, say YES, like you just have, it will make each and everyone of these pathways easier. For we will be holding hands and connecting, and ascending if you will, simultaneously and together. So through the love and connection with your brothers and sisters that you have here, you will find that your life will be so much easier than you ever thought possible.
ME: Yes
ONE: Are you willing to share this with others?
ME: Yes
ONE: For those that choose to have a copy, You will remind yourself of the Truth, and you will lead yourself in your Grand Path to full and unwavering commitment, to the Unified Totality of WHO YOU ARE. And know THAT IT IS DONE.
ME: It is Done.
ONE: So Be IT
ME: So Be IT
ONE: This is your Destiny. This is your Life, This is your Truth, This is your Strength. This is WHO YOU ARE.
ME: YES
ONE: And I will hold you accountable for who you are. And I will see this strength, and this power, and this clarity, in your eyes, in as many moments, as you will open them for me to see. And I will be with you.
ME: Thank you.
ONE: This is the bright brilliant light who you are. Right Here. Right Now. Power. I LOVE YOU.
ME: I LOVE YOU TOO.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Why Am I Free?
I am free because I feel free to feel whatever is going through me in the moment. This feeling could be anger, grief, love or joy. I know I am here in this human form to experience life, accept what is, and find bliss in that experience. If I find it hard at times, I accept that too and love myself through that. This freedom to experience all of life, even be a bitch at times and an angel at others, is my greatest asset and gift.
Because of my freedom to feel, fear has lost its strong grip it once had on me. I feel free to get into something even if there is a chance I will get hurt emotionally or physically. Because I know that 10% is what happens and 90% is how I react to it. At any time I have complete freedom to choose how I respond to a situation. I also know that the less of life I resist and judge, the more of life I welcome. I can stay in divine grace and flow. I am free because I have experienced hurdles, challenges, emotional pits and have found deeper connection and love of Self on the other side of these experiences.
I have seen that my thoughts do indeed manifest, hence everything in my life is my own creation and the way it unfolds is perfect for my journey. I feel completely free to create my life and enjoy the process through challenges and through peace.
Because of my freedom to feel, fear has lost its strong grip it once had on me. I feel free to get into something even if there is a chance I will get hurt emotionally or physically. Because I know that 10% is what happens and 90% is how I react to it. At any time I have complete freedom to choose how I respond to a situation. I also know that the less of life I resist and judge, the more of life I welcome. I can stay in divine grace and flow. I am free because I have experienced hurdles, challenges, emotional pits and have found deeper connection and love of Self on the other side of these experiences.
I have seen that my thoughts do indeed manifest, hence everything in my life is my own creation and the way it unfolds is perfect for my journey. I feel completely free to create my life and enjoy the process through challenges and through peace.
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